Because everyone else keeps saying it....

'The Truth about Raising a Child with Speech Delays'....

If you have a child with delays odds are family, friends and casual acquaintances send you every blog  post they find on a Sunday morning that might have the words 'delay' in them.

Some days I feel like rolling my eyes at these articles, blogs and Op-Eds sent to me. Some days they hit so close to home that I have to hurriedly wipe my tears away so that outwardly I am as strong as my daughter needs me to be. I can't afford to be a bumbling, emotional person, I have to be a rock hard advocate for my child's rights. Some days its impossible. Some days the flood of anxiety, fear and self pity crushes against the dam I've built inside and it is overwhelming.  Some rare days I try to open up about all this but I quickly become an inarticulate mess. I can tell when I've said too much, that I've let too much out because no matter how close I am to that person I  know I've become too real and made them uncomfortable.
I love that people send me these articles, even the poorly written or the ones that have absolutely nothing to do with being nonverbal. It means that for a minute during the day someone that is not me thought of my child. They thought of her as more than their child's friend, their great niece, they acknowledged that she isn't 'normal' and that our family is 'going through something'. It lets me know that no matter what she is loved by so many.

Signing 'more' and confused why she's not getting more Halloween candy. 

She isn't normal...

Well as with everything in my life, the 52 week project is off to a rocky start. First as was mentioned in my first post my DSLR was not working- its still on the fritz and I've still not replaced it. The old girl is 10 years old and she definitely has some wear and tear on it. Well this past week the camera on my cell phone died, so short of sketching the assignments I've put it on hold.  So enjoy this little peek into life...

Today I got the best unsolicited advice regarding my 27m old daughter C.  It wasn't directed at me but more to a group for parents with kids with APD as a whole. 'Stop treating your child like they are normal, s/he isn't normal.' It was(is) hard to hear that but so important too.  My expectations and goals for her are for 'normal' children. C is many amazing things, many of which area byproduct of her not being 'normal'. She's so sensitive to others feelings and has a tenderness to other 'non verbals' like new babies and animals that is so beyond her age. She will sit and puzzle over something until she understands how it works and can do it herself. She's fiercely independent and has the bravest heart.  It breaks mine when she hits herself because she can't get others to understand her wants and needs.  I can't stand watching her try and initiate play with new people and have them walk away because she can't say a simple 'hi'. It enrages me beyond reason when strangers stare at her as she gestures and grunts to communicate to me in public. I hate that the only way I feel I can really keep her safe is to keep her home with me, away from the stares, sneers and judgement, away from those that would snatch her up and she wouldn't even be able to protest, she can't even scream for 'help'. 
. I am so scared for her future, for the hopes and dreams I have had for her since I first heard her heart beat. 

Week 1: Who Are You?

Hello, 

So the main focus of this blog is the 52 Week Project. Each week will be a different photo 'assignment'. I will adventure into the world around me with my trusty camera/Phone( the one in the photos below took a nose dive, sadly it was not its first but it was it's last) and shoot it. That is after I've packed a diaper bag full of snacks, toys and diapers and had a giant cup of coffee. Once upon a time I didn't drink coffee.... I was also single and young so there is that. 

So back to the PROJECT,  its week one(I am using EverydayEyeCandy's list, but there are tons of others you can pick... Pinterest is a good place to start). La Shawn's list is great, I have to tweak it just a bit because well like a true procrastinator I am starting October 1st rather than January 1st.  

So this is called 'Who Are You'. Wow that could get deep. I'm staying shallow. 

I am Lauren, Lauren Martin, formerly Lauren Rapp. I was born in St Louis, moved to Des Moines, grew up with 5 AMAZING siblings, 2 of the best parents anyone could ask for and an army of dogs, hamsters, fish and for a short time a blue parakeet named Ocean. After going through a quarter life crisis I packed up my Jeep Grand Cherokee and moved back to St Louis. That impulsive and crazy decision was the best I ever made, 7 months after moving here I met Todd. After a rocky and embarrassingly drunken start we were married in September 2011.  We welcomed our fur baby, Hammie a miniature American Eskimo in February of 2012 and our skin puppy Charlotte in July 2014. 

I am currently a SAHM, and learning to be comfortable with that. I spent the last 17 years working, I love being with my daughter but I miss some of the driven purpose work provided. To help with that I am pushing myself to become a *Domestic Diva*. I apprenticed as a mom most of my childhood under a woman that worked 40 hours a week on the night shift, served a home cooked meal every night, was a girl scout leader, basketball coach and homeroom mom. The woman even made our Halloween costumes by hand and was the annoyingly crafty woman that made personalized May Day baskets for all the kids on the block. Oh and the icing on the cake is she bakes to put Betty Crocker to shame. I make a mean bag of Bertolli and burn cookies by looking at them. 

I am somewhat trained as a photographer BUT most of my formal training was in 35mm SLR and darkroom. I have learned most of what I know for digital by reading blogs, watching webinars and YouTube videos. My personal goal is to work my way up to taking pictures professionally and successfully running my own studio. The 52 Week Project was recommended as a way to hone my eye and give purpose to my photos. Please if you have a suggestions, I am an open sponge?...book? I am whatever 

This Weeks Photos  I don't have photo info on these because unfortunately I had to take with my phone.  Any photos I will post settings taken on!